Addictive behavior attempts to repair a state of bad feeling but is a Faustian Bargain that perpetuates itself and often asks the ultimate price.
Addiction can be compared to an unhealthy, fanatical love.
Individuals who succeed in getting over the hump of such habit change usually do so by making themselves look ahead to a future and more desirable state which will be the actual and lasting reward of their present, unrewarded efforts.
Everyone knows how difficult it is to do this – and how easy it is to succumb to excuses and rationalizations which permit one to abandon his efforts while managing to save face by telling himself that "I’ll get back to it later" or "Now is not a good time to be doing this – but in the future, when circumstances are more favorable, I will certainly resume my efforts." Addictive thinking is notorious for its smooth and lawyerly ability to "plead its case" and to make the afflicted individual actually believe that he is making a rational decision in his own best interest, when in fact he is simply being yanked around by the addiction like a puppet on a string.
And then he will go off and score and stay out all night and not phone you till the next day or the day after, at which point he will beg your forgiveness because he has finally learned his lesson, really learned it this time, and this time he is ready to be clean.
He has never felt this way before, he'll say; he's had a revelation, it's different this time, can't you see?
It can be harder than you think to find a counselor who really gets the trauma you have suffered as a partner of a porn or sexual addict.
Knowing he was a big pr0n fan brother number 1 showed brother number 2 where to go online to get it for free. Brother number 2 claimed not to have seen the three "confirm" buttons that dumped him to a 1900 number in Fiji. I work for a telco, we get alot of lonely men, or married men being naughty ringing up denying they called those numbers. "sir you were messaging goldcoast babes, we have the details here" they usually back down, and pay the bill quietly over the phone. But the site has some dodgy coding at times and goes down for maintenance once a week (understandable with over 30 million users :| ) and poker machine's are for recreation ? Dating sites in Aus are gaining momentum and are become more socially accepted, I actually dont personally know anyone who hasn't had a look around on them from time to time.
Just don't ring them all, and then ring up your telephone company when you get the bill and deny that you rang up those numbers. AUAND A COUPLE OTHERSWHAT THE UPLATE GAME SHOW AND YOU WILL GET HEAPS a dating site, however it does have the same purpose, find people you're interested in, add them as a friend, start talking, post blogs, pics and other stuff up.
I had one of them last week, a guy refused to believe he SMS'd a dating service for 2 hours. A lot of bands/groups/artists are using it these days to promote their music. Best of all it's free and doesn't require a credit card to drain your pocket.
I get e-mails daily from women all over the world asking if I can refer them to a good sex addiction counselor in their area.
Since they are asking me I know that means they have been to my website or read one of my articles and are looking for someone who will recognize and validate their trauma while not labeling them a “co-sex addict.” Helping people find good therapists could become a full time job for me.